You Eat?

Alright, so for the past few weeks or so, I have not really paid much attention to it but, I have not really been eating much. I have slowly been eating less and less. I don’t really think about it, I am just not that hungry and don’t see the need to eat or drink if I am not absolutely hungry or thirsty. And by hungry I mean stomach hurts from not having food and by thirsty I mean mouth dry or light headed. I never thought that it was not normal until just now, still it might be nothing.

One thing you need to understand is that I normally have a very high metabolism. I normally have a full plate of food and still go back for seconds and maybe thirds (refilling my plate like it is thanksgiving) and sometimes over eating yet still staying the same normal weight. But now, if I even eat three meals a day, I barely fill up one fourth of my plate and usually don’t finish it. Over the past few weeks there have been days where I just eat one small meal a day and some days where I don’t drink anything at all. Some days I only eat because my stomach hurts. Other times I only eat because my work director asks if I have eaten that day. I am not trying to starve myself or anything. I just don’t think about it. I am not consciously trying to hurt myself. I just don’t want to eat. Tuesday I only ate one meal, same with today. I don’t think it’s anything, but then I get this deep feeling that it is and if I ignore it then it will just get bigger and turn into something. Again, I don’t know.

The reason why I think that this could get worse is because I believe that it might have started when I began focusing more on what I eat. Not long ago I started trying to make sure that I didn’t over eat. I had thought that maybe the reason why I had stomach fat(I am at a healthy weight for my age and height I just did not have a flat stomach) was because I was over eating and could not tell when I was full, so I have been slowly eating less until it is now at the point where I only eat when my stomach hurts from hunger, and when I do it is just enough to make it stop hurting for an hour or two.

Am I just over reacting? Is this just a symptom of my depression?

Author:

Hello, I am a small girl with big thoughts. I want to be able to speak out about my thoughts and feelings. And, maybe this can somehow help others to relate with someone. It does not really mater who I am, but who you are and who you will be.

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