It so crazy to think that someone can go from incredibly happy in one moment to suicidal in the next.
This is what happened today at work. The thing is the only person who knew that something was going on was me. No one realised the thoughts that were going on inside my head. When I said that “I am done with life”, they did not realise that I ment it.
I went to the back looking for some ibuprofen, and was planning on overdosing. I was going to do it early on in the shift, so it could guarantee that I should OD at work and not at home because I knew that the only thing that would keep me from killing myself is my family seeing.
I knew what I wanted to do, and felt like I had to, but a part of me tried to find a reason why I should look forward to the future and why I should not be done with life, and I found nothing for me.
Clearly I was unable to find any since I am telling you this right now. ….
But, today I am going to bring my own that are 500mg per pill. There is no excuse this time. I need to do it at the beginning of my shift to guarantee an OD by the end of the shift.
By the way I need to remind you that this Blog is just my diary that I let the whole world see. I write the truth about myself. This is here so that you might either learn something from me, be entertained, or whatever. What I wright here is what is actually going on and how I feel.