Hey,
I’m sorry that I have not posted anything in forever… this time for real. There is a lot that I need to talk about, like my eating disorder and a visit from child protective services, but for right now I want to just start off from right here where I am. I know that it might be confusing, but I’ll fill you in later.
So, right now my friend that I opened up to about this stuff is leaving and my mom is trying to decide how we should leave my dad.
My life is just a pattern. It is that whole fight of whether I should cut or bite or not eat, and now my newest addition… hitting myself. I didn’t want my self-harm to leave a permanent mark so I started punching and hitting myself. I really need better-coping skills.
SO, about a month ago I went and saw my mom’s counselor. I just basically told her “my life story”, except I said nothing of what I have told you guys. I can’t trust her and I honestly do not feel like being judged by her because I could clearly tell that she would judge me and be less of a comfort.
When I get enough money I want to see a real therapist (who is not a Christian, just so that I won’t feel like I am being judged 24/7). I want to be able to trust her fully so that I can get some real help for all of it, but I would have to wait until I am 18 for that really so that I can trust that she will not tell my mum or dad anything. I think I will stop seeing her counselor after I go again because there is no point if I cannot trust her.
Also, I still want to be properly diagnosed by a psychiatrist and see if a prescription could help. I just want to finally get help without the fear of being found out.
I wish that I could just pause time and get better and then press play and go on with my life. But, I guess life wouldn’t be life without struggles… right?
Welcome back Freya Nicole! I hope you get better soon⚘
LikeLike
Hey, thank you! I am praying and hoping that something works out. Everything is just so confusing and hard to figure out. But thank you
LikeLike
This might help you, maybe you can relate to some of the advice.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-success/201611/8-keys-handling-adult-bullies
LikeLike